June Update

June has been a big month for our little Sweet Pea. She was moved to the Toddler House this month, which was a BIG transition for her. The Toddler House is a separate house from the "Main House" at GLA. She's been at the Main House since she came to GLA at 6 weeks old. Now she has new nannies and new friends. They're also potty training her. So, lots of changes. This made me very sad when I found out. Plus, I found out from a Facebook picture, which was salt in the wound. I know this was a hard change for her and I SO wish she was coming home instead of transitioning to a new place. Some of her friends were already there, so she's having fun, I'm sure.

This month's update profiled the nannies from the Main House who have taken care of her since she came. They all have a special place in her heart and in ours. We appreciate the love and care they have given her for the first 2 1/2 years of her life.

Where are we now?
Right now, we're in the courts step of the process. When we exit courts, the adoption will be finalized in Haiti. Then, we have a few more Haiti signatures to get before applying for her passport and visa. Estimated timeframe is 2-3 months for courts and we're already one month in. Keep praying!

I just love this picture. This was taken at "Cinema Night". The kids get to watch a movie on the big screen and have a snack in their jammies. This was her first Cinema Night since being moved to the Toddler House and she was very apprehensive about joining the big kids. The older girl in pink is Marie-Laure, my friend Michelle's daughter. Marie scooped our little girl up and put her on her lap like a Little Mama. We were told she sat there for the whole movie. I'm so thankful for my Facebook group of Mamas and some day we'll have a BIG reunion with all of our babies. What a day that will be! (Notice how her new nannies have already given her a big girl hairstyle...sigh.)

That sweet little hand. This captures her personality so well. She is so fun and loves cuddles and tickles so much!

Some of my favorite pictures

I"m painting her fingernails and toenails here. This girl is ALL girl! We are going to have so much fun together!

"How much longer?"

Since we've been home, this is the number one question everyone has asked. Here's the truth: only the LORD knows how much longer til we bring Gracie home.

It's hard to explain the process because it's not an efficient government working in good time. This is Haiti. No order. Very random. Doesn't make sense to us.

So, here are the steps. We are in the highlighted step right now. Certainly after our 19 month wait in IBESR (NOT the norm), we are super excited to be over that hurdle. Many bring their babies home 6 months after their first trip. Some sooner. Some later.

I am trying to put one foot in front of the other and focus on what the LORD has called me to do right here, right now. We've got to finish the school year. Lots of cleaning out has to happen this summer as we start our remodel. Lots of planning, painting, and decorating to make room for our baby girl! There's lots to do and I'll just try to stay busy, all the while dreaming of having her on the plane with us next time.

Steps of an adoption in the order they happen:

*Pre-IBESR = We are preparing your dossier to go into Haitian Social Services.  There are some legal documents that must be made after you accept your proposal and some of them must be legalized at the Ministry of Justice.  If we have problems getting a document, this can delay this step.

IBESR = Haitian Social Services

Parquet = Pre-Courts, they interview the birth parents and give permission for the dossier to go through the Haitian court system.

Courts = The dossier is in the Haitian Courts having the actual adoption declared and legalized.

Attest or Attestation= After court papers are finished, the Act of Adoption must be sent to the National Archives and they declare that the signature on the Act of Adoption is legal.

Legal or Legalization = All court papers must be sent to the Ministry of Justice to be legalized.  They declare that the signature on all of the paperwork actually is the signature of the Judge who signed it.

MAE = Ministry of Foreign Affairs must legalize the signature of the person in the Ministry of Justice who signed your paperwork in the step above.

MOI = All Adoption passports must go through the Ministry of the Interior for approval before Immigration will print the passport.

Printing= Your dossier is in Immigration waiting for the passport to be printed.

Visa=Your dossier is in your country's Embassy waiting for a visa to be issued!

Leaving

Today is the day I have dreaded for so long. Since we learned of the Haitian adoption process and the requirement for two trips, I have worried about this day. We will go back to Texas today and leave our daughter behind. Yes, I know she's being taken care of. Her needs are being met. But, it's still an orphanage. She NEEDS to be home with us, her forever family. Our flight leaves at 1:00, which means we have to leave GLA at 10, which means we have 2 hours to play with her and say our goodbyes (sniff, sniff).

Early this morning as I was drinking my tea and spending time with the LORD on the balcony (I wish I had gotten pictures---breezy with rocking chairs and gorgeous mountain views of Haiti), He lead me to Psalm 24:1---

The earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it,
    the world, and all who live in it.

God used these verses to remind me that Gracie belongs to HIM, not to us. He is placing her in our family so that we can disciple her and raise her to live the rest of her life for Him. But, she's not ours. She's not ours legally, yet, according to the country of Haiti. Even when the adoption is final, she's still not ours. He knows her needs and can take much better care of her than we ever could. He just encouraged me so much with these words and reminded me that HE is in control, not me, as I so often try to be. Over the years, He has reminded me of this with our boys. They are only under our roof for a few years. 

We got to the Main House (we stay at the guest house at night) a little after 8:00 and Melissa, the adoptions coordinator, brought Gracie up to the balcony. Actually, we all walked up the stairs together, but she was still a little apprehensive about coming with us, so Melissa came along, too, to comfort her. (I learned later that she had on her special "school clothes", so I'm sure she was disappointed that after she got ready for school, she didn't get to go.)

We had a great couple of hours playing bubbles and playing more with the doll. By this point, I think she was really getting the idea that we love her and care for her. Throughout our time with her, we tried to meet every small need she had (shoe coming off, help with toys, carrying her when she's tired, etc.). Meeting needs builds trust. Building trust builds attachment. BIG stuff in the adoption of an orphan. 

When it was time to go, we took a few final pictures and then took her back down to her nursery. We said goodbye to the kids and volunteers on the balcony and I think this might have given her the idea that we were leaving for good (all 3 of us). When we got down to the nursery, we both got kisses from her (the sweetest little lips ever!) and "I yuv you"s. But, then she started saying bye to her nannies. She even blew them kisses. I knew this wasn't going to be easy because I think she thought she was going with us. Every other time that week when we dropped her off, she went right back to the nannies with no problem. This time, she wrapped her legs around my waist tightly and clung to me. OH, baby girl, don't make this harder than it already is! I pried her off me and gave her to the nanny. She just looked at us with puppy dog eyes and started to cry. I will never forget that look. So many emotions behind it, I'm sure. "I was just starting to relax and enjoy my time with you, Mama and Daddy, and now you're leaving me???" So so hard. 

I took deep breaths and tried to hold back the tears as we went downstairs. But, then, I had to say goodbye to Marguerite. I tried to tell her thank you and how much we appreciate all of the love and care she's given to our girl. "Thank you" will never be enough. Marguerite loves our Gracie like her own child. I'm so thankful for her and for the way she's cared for our baby. 

Riding to the airport, we were packed like sardines in the cab of a tiny truck (the driver, me in the middle, and Robby against the passenger door). I had to hold the bar on the glove box to keep from sliding into the driver at every bump. Driving/riding in Haiti is tough to describe. Very few roads are paved and very few are really passable, but they do it anyway. Even in tiny trucks. 

If I'm being honest, I was still thinking at this point, "Anything can happen. God can do anything. We could still leave with her." We have prayed for so long about this process and prayed that God would allow Gracie to come home on the first trip. We had an hour to wait at the airport and I kept wondering if anything would happen. I know it sounds silly, but it was just me in denial. God could allow another earthquake and then we'd be allowed to take her home. Maybe they'd see how long we've waited and waive the rest of the steps. I don't know. It even sounds silly typing it, but it wasn't til we were up in the plane, looking down at Haiti that my tears started. We were really leaving. It was really happening. The moment I had dreaded for so long. 

Here's the truth: I left part of my heart in Haiti. My children are in two different countries, but I can only be in one. It hurts. It hurts badly. I tried to listen to praise music on my iPod and remind myself of the promise God gave me that morning. But, mostly I just cried. Does she have any idea how much we love her? Will she forget who we are? Will we have to start all over when we come back? How long will it be? The same prayer I've prayed for many months: "Hurry up, LORD!" Then, after conviction, I pray: "I trust You, LORD, in your perfect time and in your perfect will, not my own."

But I still feel like part of my heart is in Haiti.

"I yuv you!"

(Just a preface before I start: I'm keeping this blog mostly as a journal for us and because some day I'll share it with Grace. So if you just like the cute pictures, skip to the bottom because this will be wordy!)

The best part of today was actually the sad part of taking her back to the nursery tonight. She gave us both kisses on the lips followed by "I yuv you." Melt my heart. That was the moment I wanted to bolt for the door with her and run as fast as I could. Oh, this is tough. She loves us. We love her. Why can't we just be together? 

It was a GREAT day. We spent all day playing with her and just had to take her to the nursery for lunch. We brought her a doll and that was the best idea ever! Today I got a taste of how differently girls play compared to my monkey boys. To say she loves her "bebe" is an understatement. She talks to her like she's real! It's the most adorable thing. We spent probably an hour just undressing the baby, redressing her, and doing her hair. I brought Grace some dresses so I could play dress-up with MY doll. :) She was very excited to put her dress on and then wanted to put the shirt/pants she had been wearing on the doll. Off and on, back and forth we went. Then, she pulled all the barrettes out of her hair and wanted them in her doll's hair. After that, she'd sit the doll down in the chair and tell her to smile (suni) for the camera. She said a lot of other things to the doll that I didn't understand. So, dolls will definitely be a hit! 

We got to take her for another walk. She is so interested and observant of what other people are doing. There were quite a few people in the street and she'd just stop and stare at them. Then, walk a little further and stop to look back at them. When she got tired, she let Robby carry her the rest of the way. That was precious! 

am not worried about her fear of strangers. It will actually be pretty helpful in her attachment process. Many times, kids from hard places will go to anyone and sit with anyone because they've been cared for by so many random people. Not this girl. She has had one very sweet grandmotherly volunteer here. That's a whole other blog post. Marguerite is a blessing from the LORD. 

Another highlight of our day was FaceTiming with the boys and Nana and Poppa. I think Jonah enjoyed it the most. He even went and got an Elmo book to read to her and she went NUTS over Elmo...so very excited. She's obviously been exposed to him before. The boys loved seeing her in action. This was also the first time we heard her say, "I love you." Jonah said it to her and she said it back. So so sweet. I'm so thankful we got to do that. 

Another thing Gracie loves is dogs! There are 3 dogs at the Main House here...a Great Dane, a dachshund, and a shepherd. She yells commands at them and gets so excited around them. Our dogs will just have to learn to obey Creole commands from one bossy little girl! 

I am so very thankful for the time we've had here with her. When they told us how long to stay, I was thinking it wasn't very long. But, I feel like we've gotten a lot of good, quality time with her. We'll have a few more hours in the morning and then we leave at 10am. 

Leaving will be hard, but we trust the LORD to bring us back together FOR GOOD in just a few short months. 

God is good and everything He does is good. Psalm 119:68

Tuesday

What a day! Today was our day for all of the government appointments. We started at the US Embassy. What an experience! There's nothing more disconcerting than being surrounded by hundreds of people speaking a language you don't understand. And most of them were staring at us. Anyway, after lots of sitting and waiting, we met with the immigration officer who basically just confirmed that we're real people adopting a real baby. Now, Grace's guardian will go for an interview on May 12.

After the embassy, we had to appear before Judge Bob. This involved signing a blank notebook in a small dark room. The picture below is the courts building. From there, we went to see another judge. Turns out he didn't even need to see us...just copy our passports. More waiting in a small room full of Haitians staring at us. 

Finally, we got back to the orphanage right at noon. Did I mention we left at 6am? After lunch, I went to the nursery to get Grace for playtime. It didn't go so well. I'm going to call it an overtired 2 year old meltdown. She was very upset about leaving the nannies. She had been in preschool all morning, so I knew she was tired. I was able to sing to her and rock her to sleep. This is BIG. in all of the training we've had on attachment, being able to calm her when she's upset is key. Plus, she was relaxed enough to fall asleep. Of course, Mama was not too sad that she took her nap in my lap instead of the crib! After a while, I transferred her to Robby's lap and even though it woke her up, she cuddled with him and ate a snack. I was so thankful for that time we both had to snuggle her. Good stuff. She is one precious girl...especially in real life! 

After her nap, she was full of giggles and we had a great time playing. She loves the Duplo blocks, but is very Type A with them. Robby says just like her Mama. :) She will only stack the same size blocks with each other. No two-blockers on a three-blocker. It's pretty funny. This girl loves to swing! We knew that already because some of her best pictures are in the swing. We took some video of all the swing fun. 

We got to take her out for a walk. She LOVES to go for walks. I'm sure it's like a jail break for her! We walked down to a lookout and that's where we took the picture of the 3 of us. She has to have her hat for walks. This girl is ALL girl...loves the hat, the shoes, and dressing up. Mama has big plans! 

Tomorrow we get to spend the whole day with her. Yippee! Thank you for praying. God has blessed us with such an incredible time with her already. Leaving her Thursday will be extremely hard, but we're not thinking about that yet. Grace was having a lot of stranger anxiety before we came and the staff has been fervently praying for our meeting. I think God has answered. 

We learned some Creole words today which really helped us communicate with her. She was very chatty this afternoon. Her little voice is precious to hear. 

God is good and everything He does is good. Psalm 119:68

Up with the Roosters!

Literally. There were roosters crowing right outside our window this morning. We were up at 5:00 to get ready for our appointments. We go to the US Embassy and to appear before 2 judges today. Praying it will go quickly so we can get back to our girl this afternoon.

I will blog in more detail tonight about yesterday but we both agreed that it was the best day ever...so far! So many had prayed for our meeting and God answered every prayer. Our little girl is sweeter than sugar! She is so very smart...every parent says that, right...and has the greatest sense of humor. We met her at 9:30 and she was giving me kisses a little after 11. Only God. The biggest blessing was the hour we had alone with her on the balcony. She had just woken up and cuddled with me for a long time. She knows her Daddy, too, and just giggled playing ball with him. More to come...

Pure joy

We are here! Before they introduced us, they told us she has been having some stranger anxiety. So instead of bringing her to us like they normally do, they asked us to go to the balcony and try to slowly integrate into her playtime. That was very hard. I so badly wanted to scoop her up. It's gone remarkably well! I have even gotten kisses on the lips. More tonight...

Almost there!

Even though we have just a few hours to sleep before we board our plane to Haiti, it still seems very surreal. We will hold our Gracie girl in our arms tomorrow morning! After talking about her and praying so fervently through the process for 19 months, we finally get to meet her. 

Today we flew from DFW to Ft Lauderdale, Florida. We will try to sleep a little tonight and be at the airport by 5:15. Our flight arrives in Port au Prince about 8:00am. 

On the plane today I was listening to Anthony Evans' version of "How He Loves". Powerful lyrics. "If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking." The LORD just used that time to remind me that if He hadn't loved me first, called me, and adopted me into His forever family, then I wouldn't have the blessing of adopting Grace. I am adopted. Plain and simple. I was an orphan and He rescued me and bought me with a price. 

People say we're doing something good. They try to praise us for our efforts. The truth is we don't deserve any of that. Even the cab driver from the airport who was just chit chatting about our trip said, "That's a really good thing you all are doing." Yes, it is a good thing. But that's not why we're adopting. It's the Gospel. Plain and simple. He loved us first. 

How can you love somebody so much even when you haven't met them? It's true. Grace has our hearts and she's never even met us. Tomorrow we finally get to show her how much she is loved! 

Dress Up

This sweet doll was a gift from my friend. It came with a unisex green outfit but today I made it a baby girl! I can't wait to take her to Gracie. Then, I'll get to play dress up with her! Tomorrow I am buying her first dress. Giddy is the best word I can think of. 

Hugs, Kisses, and lots of cuddles

Our sweet Gracie girl, we are coming! We are coming to cuddle you and squeeze you. You aren't EVEN going to know what hit you....it's gonna be so great!

Haiti, here we come!

Whew....what a day! You know how you have those days when you never could've predicted when you woke up that morning how it would all play out? Yep, that was today. I knew I was baby-sitting a friend's kids. I knew it wouldn't be a "normal" day. The cat had to go to the vet with what seemed to be a broken leg and school did not look like it was going to happen.

While I was at the vet, Robby called and said, "They're asking us to travel NEXT WEEK!"
What?
After months and months of waiting and nothing, things started happening like fireworks. GLA could not book our appointment with the courts until we gave the ok. Once we gave the ok, they would book the court appointment and then tell us when to travel. After a few hours, we received the court appointment and then were told to find a flight itinerary. Another way God's timing is always perfect....Robby was able to spend a while online researching all the different flight options. During the busy season, that would NOT have happened.
Long story short (too late for that, huh?), we found an itinerary, GLA approved, and we booked it. We fly into Ft. Lauderdale, Florida on Sunday, April 20 (Easter Sunday). Monday morning, we will fly to Haiti and arrive in Port au Prince at 8AM. We leave Thursday afternoon, April 24,  and get back to Dallas late that night.

This is REALLY happening. That's what kept playing over and over in my head all day. We are REALLY going and I will REALLY get to cover my baby girl with kisses.

God is good and everything He does is good. Psalm 119:68

FINALLY!

We're out! We're out! We're really really out! Today we received an email telling us that after 19 months, the Haitian government has finally released our file. This means we get to travel to Haiti to meet our baby girl!!!!!
God is good and He has answered our many prayers!

13 & 10

Miss Bailee also turns 4 this month. Bailee Ann is my niece and I love her like she's my own!

Alert! Alert! We have a teenager in the house!
Annnnd...Luke has hit double digits! We had a fun day celebrating with family last weekend. I don't know where the years have gone. My babies are no longer babies. Noah is officially taller than I am. Luke is on his way.
Being our cat boy, Luke requested a cat cake--a tabby like our cat. I did my best and he seemed happy. Noah is a big Skillet fan (the band, not the cooking pan) and he wanted a Skillet cake. So, I made a cake in my cast iron skillet and wrote the band's logo on top. They were both delish! 

I am thankful for the boys they still are and the men they are becoming.