Pure sweetness

This face.....ohhhh, this face! I can't tell you how badly I just want to squeeze those sweet cheeks and kiss her all over! Just a few more weeks. We have visa approval and should be getting an email with her visa appointment any day now. After that appointment, GLA will tell us when to book our flights. She should definitely be home by Thanksgiving. God continues to remind me to trust Him and His perfect timing. We are still knee-deep in sawdust, painting, and rearranging at home, but we'll get it done. It probably won't be completely done and perfect like I'd like, but more than anything, I want our family under one roof.
Thank you for your constant prayers and support.

GLA asks adoptive families to bring donations when we come (from a needs list they keep). We are taking cans of powdered baby formula. If you'd like to send a can or two, you can get them to me anytime before we leave. If you don't live nearby, you can send money and I'll buy them. This is an easy way to bless GLA after all of the wonderful care they have given our sweet Grace.

Growing so fast!

I just love the GLA Facebook group! I love that we care for and support each other in so many ways. When one of us goes down to Haiti, we all take pictures of all of the kids. These are two pictures from a friend who was there this week. Man....Grace looks SO big! I've bought some 3T clothes, but now I'm wondering how long she'll actually be able to wear them. Those legs are looking long! And that hair.....wow! It's going to make the BEST natural, curly afro, too. Can't wait! That girl and her fingers....she loves them so much! We have quite a few pictures (some of her sleeping) with the fingers in her mouth. I sucked my thumb til I was 6, so I'm not worried. :)

September Update

What a difference a month makes! When I opened these pictures I said to myself, "oops! She got the wrong child!" I really did. That's how much she's changed. She has morphed overnight from a pudgy little toddler to a little girl. If I'm honest, yes, it makes me a bit sad. We thought we were bringing home a baby. We've missed so much of her short little life. BUT, I have no doubt God will redeem that time.

I am so impressed that at 2 years old she's in school for hours every day and even tracing letters and trying to write her name. Having second thoughts on the name. Must talk to hubby before I write anything else.

It's still soooo surreal that we're on the LAST step! As soon as her visa is ready, we'll leave for Haiti to bring her HOME!!!! The house is under construction. My sweet friends are planning a shower. I've bought some really cute nightgowns and tutus. It's REAL and it's happening!

Sooooo close!

Today we received the news that we're out of MOI! This is GREAT! We were expecting 1-2 months, so it was quicker than we expected. Now, her passport is being printed. After that, she'll get her Visa and then we'll be on our way to pick her up. :)
So many thoughts are swirling through my head. We've waited YEARS to bring our girl home and now that it's actually about to happen, it's just unbelievable...and overwhelming at times!
I would like to share a few prayer requests. We covet your prayers so very much and we know they've given us that "peace that passes all human understanding".

*that God would prepare Grace's heart to become part of our family
*that she would remember our time together and the "re-bonding" would occur quickly
*that God would prepare our boys' hearts for her homecoming
*wisdom to parent a 2 year old adopted baby girl....we've read all the books there are to read and trust that He will do the rest
*construction on our home: we're remodeling and need it to be finished quickly so we're not living in chaos for long
*our business: we are entering our busiest season of the year and need God's grace and mercy as we (more Robby than me) divide time between family and work
*My prayer from the start: that God would be glorified in it all!

Thank you so much and I'll keep you posted! :)

Update: We received an email from GLA this afternoon with details regarding the timeline of Grace's homecoming. The passport will only take 7-10 days to print, but Visas are much slower right now. Might take up to 2 months for that. So we're still looking at a Nov-Dec trip to Haiti! 

Step 10!

I heard from our agency today and I had been confused about where we are in the process. The original process we received had the major steps, but I got a copy today of the mini-steps within the major steps. So, we're on Step 10 and you can see what we have left. Timeline prediction is still that she'll be home before Christmas, but no one can predict....
(well, ignore the numbers...copy and paste didn't cooperate...#1 is actually the step we're on now)
 

1. Legalization at the Minister of Justice. Each of your child’s adoption documents needs to be legalized in order to apply for his/her passport. This takes 2 to 4 weeks.

2. Legalization at the Minister of Foreign Affairs (MAE). Each of your child’s adoption documents must also be legalized at the Minister of Foreign Affairs before applying for his/her passport. This takes 2 to 4 weeks.

3. MOI (Ministry of the Interior). Once all documents have been legalized, the Crèche can apply for your child’s Haitian passport. This is a 2 step process  
   1. Studying the application at the office of the Minister of Interior and finalization and printing the passport at the Immigration department. This stage can be unpredictable; however expect 3 to 6 months.
   
   
4. Paperwork review. Once your child’s passport has been printed, and all original documents have been returned, the Crèche will review the paperwork and have any errors corrected (spelling errors are very common).

3. US medical. A medical on your child is completed by a US approved physician in Haiti and the results are submitted together with the visa application. It can take up to a week until the Crèche is able to pick up the completed medical report.

4. USCIS and US visa. The Crèche will submit your child’s complete visa packet (adoption documents, passport, US medical, passport photos, DS-260) to USCIS for your I-600 approval. Once your I-600 has been approved, USCIS will forward your adoption file to the Adoptions Officer, who will then schedule your child’s visa interview. Your child’s visa interview is usually held 1-2 weeks from when the Officer received your child’s adoption file. At the same time, the Crèche must obtain a travel document, permitting the child to travel, from IBESR. Expect four to twelve weeks for this entire process.

5. Travel. Once your child’s visa has been approved, the Crèche will contact BCSG with possible travel dates for your final trip to Haiti to pick up your child. The Crèche will pick up your child’s visa before you arrive in Haiti. Expect to stay in Haiti for 4-7 days.

3. 
   

Malozie McCraw

Today our sweet girl is officially a McCraw! Her name won't be legally changed to Grace until she's here in the U.S., but the adoption is official and legalized in Haiti. This brings us so much peace. She's OURS! If something happened in Haiti (like the earthquake that happened in 2010), she would be sent home to us. They actually gave humanitarian parole to many kids in the middle of the process after the earthquake. Don't get me wrong...I'm not wishing for anything bad. BUT, if.....she's ours!

We need 2 more signatures and then they'll apply for her passport. From all of the timelines I've been researching (my other GLA moms in our Facebook group), many went from exiting courts (where we are today) to coming home in 3-5 months. She'll probably be home by Christmas!!!! God is so good. He has heard our prayers and He is working on her behalf!

These pictures were taken by my sweet friend Kristen, another mom in my FB group. She's at GLA this week to meet her son. This girl has got some personality! :)

June Update

June has been a big month for our little Sweet Pea. She was moved to the Toddler House this month, which was a BIG transition for her. The Toddler House is a separate house from the "Main House" at GLA. She's been at the Main House since she came to GLA at 6 weeks old. Now she has new nannies and new friends. They're also potty training her. So, lots of changes. This made me very sad when I found out. Plus, I found out from a Facebook picture, which was salt in the wound. I know this was a hard change for her and I SO wish she was coming home instead of transitioning to a new place. Some of her friends were already there, so she's having fun, I'm sure.

This month's update profiled the nannies from the Main House who have taken care of her since she came. They all have a special place in her heart and in ours. We appreciate the love and care they have given her for the first 2 1/2 years of her life.

Where are we now?
Right now, we're in the courts step of the process. When we exit courts, the adoption will be finalized in Haiti. Then, we have a few more Haiti signatures to get before applying for her passport and visa. Estimated timeframe is 2-3 months for courts and we're already one month in. Keep praying!

I just love this picture. This was taken at "Cinema Night". The kids get to watch a movie on the big screen and have a snack in their jammies. This was her first Cinema Night since being moved to the Toddler House and she was very apprehensive about joining the big kids. The older girl in pink is Marie-Laure, my friend Michelle's daughter. Marie scooped our little girl up and put her on her lap like a Little Mama. We were told she sat there for the whole movie. I'm so thankful for my Facebook group of Mamas and some day we'll have a BIG reunion with all of our babies. What a day that will be! (Notice how her new nannies have already given her a big girl hairstyle...sigh.)

That sweet little hand. This captures her personality so well. She is so fun and loves cuddles and tickles so much!

Some of my favorite pictures

I"m painting her fingernails and toenails here. This girl is ALL girl! We are going to have so much fun together!

"How much longer?"

Since we've been home, this is the number one question everyone has asked. Here's the truth: only the LORD knows how much longer til we bring Gracie home.

It's hard to explain the process because it's not an efficient government working in good time. This is Haiti. No order. Very random. Doesn't make sense to us.

So, here are the steps. We are in the highlighted step right now. Certainly after our 19 month wait in IBESR (NOT the norm), we are super excited to be over that hurdle. Many bring their babies home 6 months after their first trip. Some sooner. Some later.

I am trying to put one foot in front of the other and focus on what the LORD has called me to do right here, right now. We've got to finish the school year. Lots of cleaning out has to happen this summer as we start our remodel. Lots of planning, painting, and decorating to make room for our baby girl! There's lots to do and I'll just try to stay busy, all the while dreaming of having her on the plane with us next time.

Steps of an adoption in the order they happen:

*Pre-IBESR = We are preparing your dossier to go into Haitian Social Services.  There are some legal documents that must be made after you accept your proposal and some of them must be legalized at the Ministry of Justice.  If we have problems getting a document, this can delay this step.

IBESR = Haitian Social Services

Parquet = Pre-Courts, they interview the birth parents and give permission for the dossier to go through the Haitian court system.

Courts = The dossier is in the Haitian Courts having the actual adoption declared and legalized.

Attest or Attestation= After court papers are finished, the Act of Adoption must be sent to the National Archives and they declare that the signature on the Act of Adoption is legal.

Legal or Legalization = All court papers must be sent to the Ministry of Justice to be legalized.  They declare that the signature on all of the paperwork actually is the signature of the Judge who signed it.

MAE = Ministry of Foreign Affairs must legalize the signature of the person in the Ministry of Justice who signed your paperwork in the step above.

MOI = All Adoption passports must go through the Ministry of the Interior for approval before Immigration will print the passport.

Printing= Your dossier is in Immigration waiting for the passport to be printed.

Visa=Your dossier is in your country's Embassy waiting for a visa to be issued!

Leaving

Today is the day I have dreaded for so long. Since we learned of the Haitian adoption process and the requirement for two trips, I have worried about this day. We will go back to Texas today and leave our daughter behind. Yes, I know she's being taken care of. Her needs are being met. But, it's still an orphanage. She NEEDS to be home with us, her forever family. Our flight leaves at 1:00, which means we have to leave GLA at 10, which means we have 2 hours to play with her and say our goodbyes (sniff, sniff).

Early this morning as I was drinking my tea and spending time with the LORD on the balcony (I wish I had gotten pictures---breezy with rocking chairs and gorgeous mountain views of Haiti), He lead me to Psalm 24:1---

The earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it,
    the world, and all who live in it.

God used these verses to remind me that Gracie belongs to HIM, not to us. He is placing her in our family so that we can disciple her and raise her to live the rest of her life for Him. But, she's not ours. She's not ours legally, yet, according to the country of Haiti. Even when the adoption is final, she's still not ours. He knows her needs and can take much better care of her than we ever could. He just encouraged me so much with these words and reminded me that HE is in control, not me, as I so often try to be. Over the years, He has reminded me of this with our boys. They are only under our roof for a few years. 

We got to the Main House (we stay at the guest house at night) a little after 8:00 and Melissa, the adoptions coordinator, brought Gracie up to the balcony. Actually, we all walked up the stairs together, but she was still a little apprehensive about coming with us, so Melissa came along, too, to comfort her. (I learned later that she had on her special "school clothes", so I'm sure she was disappointed that after she got ready for school, she didn't get to go.)

We had a great couple of hours playing bubbles and playing more with the doll. By this point, I think she was really getting the idea that we love her and care for her. Throughout our time with her, we tried to meet every small need she had (shoe coming off, help with toys, carrying her when she's tired, etc.). Meeting needs builds trust. Building trust builds attachment. BIG stuff in the adoption of an orphan. 

When it was time to go, we took a few final pictures and then took her back down to her nursery. We said goodbye to the kids and volunteers on the balcony and I think this might have given her the idea that we were leaving for good (all 3 of us). When we got down to the nursery, we both got kisses from her (the sweetest little lips ever!) and "I yuv you"s. But, then she started saying bye to her nannies. She even blew them kisses. I knew this wasn't going to be easy because I think she thought she was going with us. Every other time that week when we dropped her off, she went right back to the nannies with no problem. This time, she wrapped her legs around my waist tightly and clung to me. OH, baby girl, don't make this harder than it already is! I pried her off me and gave her to the nanny. She just looked at us with puppy dog eyes and started to cry. I will never forget that look. So many emotions behind it, I'm sure. "I was just starting to relax and enjoy my time with you, Mama and Daddy, and now you're leaving me???" So so hard. 

I took deep breaths and tried to hold back the tears as we went downstairs. But, then, I had to say goodbye to Marguerite. I tried to tell her thank you and how much we appreciate all of the love and care she's given to our girl. "Thank you" will never be enough. Marguerite loves our Gracie like her own child. I'm so thankful for her and for the way she's cared for our baby. 

Riding to the airport, we were packed like sardines in the cab of a tiny truck (the driver, me in the middle, and Robby against the passenger door). I had to hold the bar on the glove box to keep from sliding into the driver at every bump. Driving/riding in Haiti is tough to describe. Very few roads are paved and very few are really passable, but they do it anyway. Even in tiny trucks. 

If I'm being honest, I was still thinking at this point, "Anything can happen. God can do anything. We could still leave with her." We have prayed for so long about this process and prayed that God would allow Gracie to come home on the first trip. We had an hour to wait at the airport and I kept wondering if anything would happen. I know it sounds silly, but it was just me in denial. God could allow another earthquake and then we'd be allowed to take her home. Maybe they'd see how long we've waited and waive the rest of the steps. I don't know. It even sounds silly typing it, but it wasn't til we were up in the plane, looking down at Haiti that my tears started. We were really leaving. It was really happening. The moment I had dreaded for so long. 

Here's the truth: I left part of my heart in Haiti. My children are in two different countries, but I can only be in one. It hurts. It hurts badly. I tried to listen to praise music on my iPod and remind myself of the promise God gave me that morning. But, mostly I just cried. Does she have any idea how much we love her? Will she forget who we are? Will we have to start all over when we come back? How long will it be? The same prayer I've prayed for many months: "Hurry up, LORD!" Then, after conviction, I pray: "I trust You, LORD, in your perfect time and in your perfect will, not my own."

But I still feel like part of my heart is in Haiti.

"I yuv you!"

(Just a preface before I start: I'm keeping this blog mostly as a journal for us and because some day I'll share it with Grace. So if you just like the cute pictures, skip to the bottom because this will be wordy!)

The best part of today was actually the sad part of taking her back to the nursery tonight. She gave us both kisses on the lips followed by "I yuv you." Melt my heart. That was the moment I wanted to bolt for the door with her and run as fast as I could. Oh, this is tough. She loves us. We love her. Why can't we just be together? 

It was a GREAT day. We spent all day playing with her and just had to take her to the nursery for lunch. We brought her a doll and that was the best idea ever! Today I got a taste of how differently girls play compared to my monkey boys. To say she loves her "bebe" is an understatement. She talks to her like she's real! It's the most adorable thing. We spent probably an hour just undressing the baby, redressing her, and doing her hair. I brought Grace some dresses so I could play dress-up with MY doll. :) She was very excited to put her dress on and then wanted to put the shirt/pants she had been wearing on the doll. Off and on, back and forth we went. Then, she pulled all the barrettes out of her hair and wanted them in her doll's hair. After that, she'd sit the doll down in the chair and tell her to smile (suni) for the camera. She said a lot of other things to the doll that I didn't understand. So, dolls will definitely be a hit! 

We got to take her for another walk. She is so interested and observant of what other people are doing. There were quite a few people in the street and she'd just stop and stare at them. Then, walk a little further and stop to look back at them. When she got tired, she let Robby carry her the rest of the way. That was precious! 

am not worried about her fear of strangers. It will actually be pretty helpful in her attachment process. Many times, kids from hard places will go to anyone and sit with anyone because they've been cared for by so many random people. Not this girl. She has had one very sweet grandmotherly volunteer here. That's a whole other blog post. Marguerite is a blessing from the LORD. 

Another highlight of our day was FaceTiming with the boys and Nana and Poppa. I think Jonah enjoyed it the most. He even went and got an Elmo book to read to her and she went NUTS over Elmo...so very excited. She's obviously been exposed to him before. The boys loved seeing her in action. This was also the first time we heard her say, "I love you." Jonah said it to her and she said it back. So so sweet. I'm so thankful we got to do that. 

Another thing Gracie loves is dogs! There are 3 dogs at the Main House here...a Great Dane, a dachshund, and a shepherd. She yells commands at them and gets so excited around them. Our dogs will just have to learn to obey Creole commands from one bossy little girl! 

I am so very thankful for the time we've had here with her. When they told us how long to stay, I was thinking it wasn't very long. But, I feel like we've gotten a lot of good, quality time with her. We'll have a few more hours in the morning and then we leave at 10am. 

Leaving will be hard, but we trust the LORD to bring us back together FOR GOOD in just a few short months. 

God is good and everything He does is good. Psalm 119:68

Tuesday

What a day! Today was our day for all of the government appointments. We started at the US Embassy. What an experience! There's nothing more disconcerting than being surrounded by hundreds of people speaking a language you don't understand. And most of them were staring at us. Anyway, after lots of sitting and waiting, we met with the immigration officer who basically just confirmed that we're real people adopting a real baby. Now, Grace's guardian will go for an interview on May 12.

After the embassy, we had to appear before Judge Bob. This involved signing a blank notebook in a small dark room. The picture below is the courts building. From there, we went to see another judge. Turns out he didn't even need to see us...just copy our passports. More waiting in a small room full of Haitians staring at us. 

Finally, we got back to the orphanage right at noon. Did I mention we left at 6am? After lunch, I went to the nursery to get Grace for playtime. It didn't go so well. I'm going to call it an overtired 2 year old meltdown. She was very upset about leaving the nannies. She had been in preschool all morning, so I knew she was tired. I was able to sing to her and rock her to sleep. This is BIG. in all of the training we've had on attachment, being able to calm her when she's upset is key. Plus, she was relaxed enough to fall asleep. Of course, Mama was not too sad that she took her nap in my lap instead of the crib! After a while, I transferred her to Robby's lap and even though it woke her up, she cuddled with him and ate a snack. I was so thankful for that time we both had to snuggle her. Good stuff. She is one precious girl...especially in real life! 

After her nap, she was full of giggles and we had a great time playing. She loves the Duplo blocks, but is very Type A with them. Robby says just like her Mama. :) She will only stack the same size blocks with each other. No two-blockers on a three-blocker. It's pretty funny. This girl loves to swing! We knew that already because some of her best pictures are in the swing. We took some video of all the swing fun. 

We got to take her out for a walk. She LOVES to go for walks. I'm sure it's like a jail break for her! We walked down to a lookout and that's where we took the picture of the 3 of us. She has to have her hat for walks. This girl is ALL girl...loves the hat, the shoes, and dressing up. Mama has big plans! 

Tomorrow we get to spend the whole day with her. Yippee! Thank you for praying. God has blessed us with such an incredible time with her already. Leaving her Thursday will be extremely hard, but we're not thinking about that yet. Grace was having a lot of stranger anxiety before we came and the staff has been fervently praying for our meeting. I think God has answered. 

We learned some Creole words today which really helped us communicate with her. She was very chatty this afternoon. Her little voice is precious to hear. 

God is good and everything He does is good. Psalm 119:68

Up with the Roosters!

Literally. There were roosters crowing right outside our window this morning. We were up at 5:00 to get ready for our appointments. We go to the US Embassy and to appear before 2 judges today. Praying it will go quickly so we can get back to our girl this afternoon.

I will blog in more detail tonight about yesterday but we both agreed that it was the best day ever...so far! So many had prayed for our meeting and God answered every prayer. Our little girl is sweeter than sugar! She is so very smart...every parent says that, right...and has the greatest sense of humor. We met her at 9:30 and she was giving me kisses a little after 11. Only God. The biggest blessing was the hour we had alone with her on the balcony. She had just woken up and cuddled with me for a long time. She knows her Daddy, too, and just giggled playing ball with him. More to come...